I HATE GROUP PROJECTS

Rarely do I come across a team that divide the work equally, actually do the tasks they have agreed on doing and finish them before they are due. Over the course of the summer holiday, I kind of forgot why I hated group projects so much, but when school started, it all came flooding back. God, do I hate group projects...

I understand that group projects can be beneficial to us students. They teach us to collaborate and we can learn from each other. But 90 per cent of the time - at least in my case - they are a pain in the arse. Excuse my language. 

This academic year I started at a new school, in a new class with new people. People I have never worked with before. People who might know what collaboration means... Dream on, Morgana.

At the start of this school year I was put into a group with... Let us call them S and A. We get an assignment at the start of the week and at the end of the week we hand it in and give a presentation about said assignment. At the start of the first week we divided the work for the writing part of the assignment equally and we agreed on giving the presentation together (I was happy about this, as I had a sore throat at the time). So far, so good. But as the day of the presentation drew near (and by this I mean a day before) - you've probably already guessed it - S and A became 'ill' and decided that I should give the presentation by myself. "So Morgana, you cool about doing this?" "But you guys know I have a sore throat. We agreed on doing this together, didn't we?" A even got annoyed. I don't understand how you can be annoyed with someone because they're ill. When I approached the teacher about this, she told me to ask my group to help me with the presentation, which they were obviously not doing to do. I eventually ended up giving the presentation anyway.

The week after that A told us she'd give the presentation this time. Once again we divided the work for the written part of the assignment and started working on it, so A could start preparing for her presentation. On Thursday, the day before the presentation, A announced that she didn't feel like doing it anymore because giving the presentation was not beneficial to her (whatever that meant) and that S or I should give the presentation. She also promised to work extra hard the following week (there was no assignment that week, smart move, A). I had to work till late on Thursday and come on, I had already given a presentation the week before. S agreed on doing the presentation. And guess what... She didn't show up for class the following morning. I received a message from her. She was ill. So there I was, my entire group was absent except for me. So when it was S's turn to give a presentation the teacher made me do it. Unprepared. "Oh come on, you worked on this assignment together, didn't you?" I spent about a minute panicking. OMG, I didn't prepare anything! I don't know what to say! What should I do?! To make things worse, I have a speaking anxiety. I had a shaky start, but once I got past that stage, it went surpisingly well. It was definitely not the best presentation I've ever given, but it amazed me how much I remembered about the assignment.

After that day I was done. D. O. N. E. Collaborating with S and A got better over the weeks, but one thing's for sure: I don't want to work with them again. Ever. I shall now continue my quest for the perfect team.

Yours faithfully,

Morgana

The state of being tired

Wake up. School. Work. Study. Sleep. Repeat. Those are the things I have been doing for the past days. Weeks. Months. I buried Social Life and Free Time two months ago when school started. May they rest in peace. 

Looking back, I wonder how I managed to keep going, keep pushing, for so long without collapsing, without giving up. Am I even human? I can say that I am tired. No, not tired, exhausted. My exhaustion reached a high when stress started to consume me from the inside out. The day when the final exam, that I was going to take the day after, was all I could think about. That day was yesterday. Yesterday was a rollercoaster. I spent the entire day studying and at one point I just became fed up with it all. I just could not do it anymore. Imagine the cortisol flowing through my veins. As a perfectionist, I cannot afford to fail a test. This newly developed indifference of mine stressed me out even more. All those days of non stop studying and stressing led up to this day, the day of the exam. I would either come back celebrating my success or crying and preparing for another round of studying for the resit. I've just come back from school,  and, fortunately, those many hours of hard work and dedication paid off, for I passed the test. Words cannot express how relieved I am. 

The exams are over and do you know what that means? The resurrection of Social Life and Free Time is happening! I feel like I have been neglecting my blog, which is a shame as I love reading and writing stories, but I'm hoping to change that now. Perhaps I will also be able to do something about that hideous lay-out (yes, I am aware of how ugly it looks right now). I have missed hanging out with Sam & Dean and Walter & Jesse. I am dying to experience school for the first time with Auggie (from R. J. Palacio's Wonder). And I am determined to finish Bella's 'Noobs guide to movies' before the end of this year. I promised her she would be allowed to 'hit me so hard, it'll make my ancestors dizzy' if I haven't finished it by the end of december, so I had better get to it, then.

But, first lemme take a nap.

Yours faithfully,

Morgana